Feeling a little melancholy today.
Yesterday, I had to dispose of my truck. A 2007 GMC Canyon I had since 2016. A vehicle I was very much attached to.
I stretched its life as long as I could, but the rusted frame — described as “cottage cheese” by mechanics who wouldn’t work on it for that reason — was getting creakier and creakier by the day, and the small gas puddles it left after driving formed into something more lake-like. With a new burning smell and grinding feel between 35–45 MPH, it seemed my truck’s time on the road had come to an end. Any longer, and I might’ve gone up in flames.
Definitely not the way I wanna go…
So now, I’ve got myself a used Toyota Camry. I went for value and reliability, but now I’m going to be even more cashed strapped than before. Another monthly bill in addition to the personal loan I took out to buy time so I could “finish” coding my website. It’s not a good feeling, not when you consider the circumstances, and where I was a few years back.
In 2017, my Bitcoin investment paid off. I wasn’t rich or anything, but I basically went all-in with what I had during 2014, so I was sitting pretty good at the time. It would have been way better and I would be a multi-millionaire if I didn’t quit my professional job, but I had bad sciatic nerve pain at the time and I wanted to pursue entrepreneurship, so after leaving the full-time job, I worked part-time while pursing and studying topics related to it. Doing this, I kept myself a float without having to prematurely sell my investment, and I was able to spend a decent amount of time on my own work.
Do I regret this now? Kind of. Depends on the day.
Like I said, I would be a multi-millionaire because I know I would’ve just kept piling all my money into it. Instead of taking a coding bootcamp in 2018 to build my vision, I could have hired a few developers to build it for me. Although as I hear myself say that, it doesn’t sound appealing at all. There is something special and satisfying about building it yourself. And I guess that’s why I made the sacrifices I did.
I expect no sympathy from anyone, as I knew what I was doing all along. And nobody is going to have sympathy for someone who wasn’t employed for 5 straight years. I got myself in this currently ugly predicament, and I have no one to blame but myself.
I’m 35 years old and I don’t care about possessions, or marriage, or kids. The latter two could change, but until I give my entrepreneurship a shot, I care about nothing else. Maybe a slight exaggeration there, but my main focus since 2014 is accomplishment, and being successful at the most difficult of life’s challenges: Entrepreneurship.
So, I lived off my investment earnings for a while. Lived with friends and paid cheap rent, and as my financials dwindled, I stuck to my game plan of completing my website and moved into my parent’s house, where I’ve been for the last 2 years. Embarrassing, isn’t it?
But honestly, that part doesn’t really bother me. I’m old enough where I have a solid friend base, I’m not looking for love at the moment, and my priorities are what they are, so it hasn’t had that much of an adverse effect on my life. I love my parents, and I am extremely thankful and blessed that I have them. How awesome do they have to be to let me continue chasing a dream that they don’t even understand? That’s love right there.
And they helped me out with this “new” vehicle too. Because I waited until the very last minute to get a job, I’ve only had a month and a half to save money, and it’s not nearly enough to get even a used vehicle. Sure, I could’ve done it without them, but I would have had to pay a disgusting 14% interest rate on the loan. Luckily, my dad wrote a check so I could have more time to get a better rate. My god am I lucky or what?
Yes and no.
I’m lucky I have the parents I have — that’s without a doubt. But life isn’t the best right now and I don’t feel very lucky in that regard. I’m way over-qualified to be serving at a restaurant, but when you have experience and need to get a job and cash fast, you gotta do what you gotta do. It at least lets me have some time to work on my own work.
The alternative — getting a coding job — takes much more time to land, and isn’t easy when you don’t have prior work experience. What I’ve accomplished in that field demonstrates solid knowledge, but would you hire someone whose only experience is solo building a platform of their own over the past 2–3 years? I’m not so sure you would.
I’m an optimist though, and I know this situation won’t last forever. It’s a temporary bump on life’s road. I’m going to get out of my parent’s place eventually and gain my independence back, and hopefully I’ll also be able to redirect the majority of my time back to TipStampers as well — while not dwindling down my financials at the same time.
We’ll see how long that takes, and in the meantime, I gotta do what I gotta do.
Would you like the standard fries that come with it, or sweet potato fries, coleslaw, or onion straws?
Humbled, I am.
Thanks for reading,
Sam
